Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Unconditional [Part 2].

Do soulmates exist?

Growing up, I always told my friends and family that I do believe in a happily ever after and that I will find my knight in shining armor someday.

Did they laugh and mock me? Sure they did.

But who's laughing now? Oh wait, that would be me! 

Oh boy, I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about writing this post because it is my very soulmate that inspires me to continue writing in this blog. 

So what makes my soulmate, my knight in shining armor you may ask?

Well, sorry to get your hopes up but that's a secret.

Now, I've counseled a lot of my friends growing up, whether it be relationship problems/advice, lifestyle choices, or even the simplest of "should I still be friends with her/him?" You know, I even had adults come up to me at some point while I was just in junior high/high school and ask me what life means, why is it so hard, and what can I do about it?

Luckily for them, I didn't have such an oblivious and fun childhood like the rest of them, I already started enduring pain, suffering, and even abuse. So I was able to share a piece of my wisdom and knowledge which then later helped them make some big life-changing choices. 

Any who, unconditional love is the topic for this post so let's stay on track. I brought up the previous comment because everyone believes that finding your "one true love", "prince charming", as well as my "knight in shining armor" means life will be great, right? Like Cinderella's happily ever after?

Nope, sorry friends, unfortunately that's not even the case for me. I endured so many hardships till now, I have been pained and scarred over the years, but still the troubles keep coming.

But that doesn't mean I have to do it alone. Aside from the chemical feeling of "loving" someone "unconditionally", there's much more backbone to it that most people don't see. Unconditional love is like the name of a recipe, there are much that goes in to make the final product. 

For example, how I make my Unconditional Love recipe:

2 cups of love (1 cup for myself and 1 cup for my partner)
2 cups of communication
3 cups of support (1 cup extra in case someone needs extra)
2 cups of respect
4 cups of loyalty (forever is a long time, better stock up)

.. and a sprinkle of humor

That sounds about right. Now, this is my first time making this recipe so there may be more to add as the time goes on but for now, I like how this tastes just fine. 

"A long time ago, I was at a church retreat I believe and a pastor once told the group, there was a man and wife who were extremely wealthy, had a couple of children, and their lives seemed great! 

There is also another couple, man and wife- with no children. They weren't extremely wealthy and were having some financial burden but that didn't stop them from being happy. 

Now both these couples are happy, right? But when the economy crashed the first man lost everything. Literally. His wife had left him and even took the kids. With no money..."

Apparently both of them won the lottery and blah blah okay, I kind of forgot how the story goes but I know the moral of the story because it has always has a place in my heart.

Basically the first wife was all about materialistic pleasures and lived such a comfortable lifestyle but once the family had no money she was panicked and her instincts probably told her to find a rich man to marry. 

The second couple is the one that inspires me the most. When you start a relationship from rock bottom, you build your foundation with nothing but each other. No fancy cars, fine dining at restaurants, and handbags but you give all you can even if love is the only thing you have to give.

*excuse me for a second while I wipe my tears, I seem to be getting emotional*

Where were we? Oh right, so I have met the most wonderful man I could possibly ever dream of by my side yet from the very beginning I kept telling him that I don't have much to offer. There are some in the past who had expected much more of me than I can give, some who have abused what I had, and others just took for granted. 

My partner told me that he's okay with what I don't have but to give wholeheartedly with what I do have and that was my "unconditional love" recipe. He has been worried lately because he has the biggest heart I have ever seen, always wanting to give me the whole world even if I don't ask for it.

We are going through some rough patches because I am currently unemployed as I search for the dreams I have locked away somewhere and seemed to have misplaced.

I am unhappy with the path I stumbled upon being a server for the last six years, confused and disarrayed... as I lose track of what my purpose was from the beginning. So with much support from my partner, I decided to take a big leap of faith and find a job/beginning of a career that I see myself enjoying for the rest of my life. 

As he worries about how we will manage the bills AND still give me the world, I tell him it's okay and that we will fight through it together. There is always a way. 

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